Tales of a real American homemaker.

Hey...

I don't need to tell you that it has been a while since my last corespondence. I've been busy...doin' nothin. It's weird really, normally I am the busiest woman on the planet with the Matt, the boys, the dogs, the house...but just recently my motivation has gone. I am so annoyed with that. I am just consumed by being lazy. Not that I have let everything go to you know where...but it's more that I don't feel productive. Yeah, I have been checking homework, keeping up with the dogs, getting dinner on the table by five or six, laundry is mostly caught up, the house is semi orderly, blah, blah, blah...but I don't know. I guess I go through these phases of unrest. Like I don't really exist. Or I feel like my "job" is not enough. Maybe it is because we are struggling with finances right now, as usual, and I can't deposit any money. It is so frustrating! Might be more of a control issue or freedom issue...we are sort of slaves to the very thing that we are trying to get away from. Stupid money! I don't know. I am just a bit annoyed. It seems you have to be really wealthy to live simply.

One big factor in all of this is my "goal" has been shot down. My plan to go to school this year has been put off again. It is the right thing to do, since Calvin isn't in Kindegarten yet(not til 2009/10) We are unable to justify spending an outrageous amount of $$, which we don't have, for childcare. So, Calvin will be better off with the extra year home with me but I am still horribly sad! I just feel like everytime I set a personal goal...it doesn't work out. Then I think, it really isn't about me...quit being such a baby. It's a rollercoaster, really. Gosh, I must sound like such a whiner! Sorry 'bout that. Okay, I think I am done feeling sorry for myself.

Check back soon, I will work on a less selfish, whinny post. :)